


HER

by Zuza_Susan



Category: Juliantina-Fandom
Genre: Actresses AU, Alternate Universe, F/F, Juliantina, Juliantina Appreciation Week
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29287479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zuza_Susan/pseuds/Zuza_Susan
Summary: Life cannot be predicted. Just like it's impossible to predict when we'll fall in love.  We don't know the moment or person.  Usually we fall in love at the wrong time, but sometimes when we really need it. Love is an incomprehensible feeling. But true love is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. It allows you to be yourself and reach the highest summits. But what if you fall in love with someone you didn't expect. What if the world around forbids this love. What if..., there are always so many questions. But if you really love someone, nothing defeat you.
Relationships: Valentina Carvajal & Juliana Valdés, Valentina Carvajal/Juliana Valdés
Comments: 7
Kudos: 25





	1. That was her gift. She filled you with the words you didn’t know were there.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Juliantina fanfiction.  
> English is not my native language, so sorry for any grammar mistakes. I will try to improve them.  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Juliana felt a gentle breeze against her neck , goose bumps appeared. The velvet, turquoise dress waved and tiny wisps of hair fell over her ruddy forehead. The suns’s rays illuminated her. 

She was in an abandoned garden but with flowers blooming all around. The brunette was getting ready for her first, serious photoshoot which she had always dreamed of. However, she never felt ready for it. Until one day she was invited by   
a modeling company who liked her photos on social media and absolutely wanted to see her on the cover of the latest magazine.   
She thought she wanted to try something new which she was still afraid of but this time she didn’t refuse. 

She had never been dressed in such a beautiful stylization. For the first time she felt that someone appreciated her. She knew this was a moment just for her and she had to make the best of it. 

Manager informed her that the photographer should be here in a while. The brunette’s stress grew with each passing moment. Suddenly she saw a female silhouette. The girl had a camera, so she will probably take pictures of her. 

“Hello, I’m Valentina” she said.  
”Nice to meet you” Juliana replied.

She sat down on a wooden bench leaning slightly towards the backrest. 

“Now look at me” Val confessed.

Juliana turned her head staring at the camera lens. In fact, she was looking at the photographer’s blue, sparkling eyes, which seemed to magically hipnotize her. She stared with those piercing eyes without even hearing Valentina’s questions. 

”Earth to Juliana” she said.

The brunette woke up after a while, she had the impression that she was in another world.

”I asked you but you looked like you saw a ghost, you had such a grave gaze” she said.   
”Sorry, I just…” she did not finish, wondering what to say to the photographer. 

They both changed location and headed towards the lighted meadow.

”Now you can relax and pose as naturally as possible” she asked.

Juliana felt a little uncomfortable. First those beautiful eyes and later she saw her figure in all its glory. 

”How can she be so perfect” she said in her mind. 

Valentina, seeing the uncertainly in the eyes of model, came closer to her. 

”Try to reveal the collarbones a little. You are perfect and you have nothing to cover” she said in certainly in her voice. 

The brunette did not manage to touch the dress as the photographer was the first. Valentina gently lowered her dress from the shoulders, revealing the flawless cleavage of the brown-eyed woman. 

”You have nothing to be ashemed of, I swear, you are beautiful. You just have to believe in yourself and I will try to create the perfect shot for you” she replied. 

Valentina’s words unblocked the inner barrier of the girl who felt more confident and aware of her body. 

”We got this! The last photo is incredible but I am not showing you it today. You will wait for the final results” said the photographer. 

Juliana felt a surge of energy, a strange feeling that she could not explain. Her heart sped up and   
a shudder ran through her body. 

”Thank you for the wonderful cooperacion. I hope that I will surprise you” she confessed. 

She walked over to Juliana handing her bussiness card.

”Here you have my phone number. Call me whenever you need to and wait for photos” Val replied.

Juls accepted the card, gripping the girl’s hand tightly. She looked into her azure eyes without words, speechless even more at the sight of every inch of her face. She had never seen someone so graceful. 

”Thank you too” she whispered softly.

The brunette had no more words to say but deep inside she felt she would meet Valentina again.  
She didn’t know what actually happended to her after this photoshoot. She felt as safe as in the presence of no one else.   
And for the first time someone commented positively on her figure and herself. The photographer’s words filled her and stayed in her heart for a long time. After all, she does not often hear that she is BEAUTIFUL.   
She was unware of the impact of this photoshoot and Valentina’s meeting but she was supposed to know soon.


	2. All you need is one person to believe in you and the world is yours. Just one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter.   
> Enjoy reading! :)

A few weeks have passed since the photoshoot and Juliana cannot forget about Valentina. The glittering azure eyes were still in front of her. When she thought about the photographer’s voluptuous touch on her skin, she shivered.   
She only stared at the phone screen hoping that she would see the message from Val and be able to pick up the awaited photos. 

”Juli, has something happened since you came back the photoshoot, you seem a little… off- asked Lupe.

”It’s okay, I’m just very tired”- confessed the brunette. 

”You need rest honey” added Lupita. 

Juliana went to her room as her mother said. She knew she woudn’t be able to narrow her eyes anyway. Thoughts never left her but intensified with each passing day. She tried to get rid of all associations with Valentina. What the photographer has in her… Maybe cuz she is incredibly astounding, breathtaking, mesmerizing. The way she spoke, the angelic voice filled her interior.   
Is it normal to think about another girl this way and find her attractive? 

”Stop, stop, stop” shouted Juls.

”Something happened Juli? asked Lupe standing in the doorway. 

”Oh, everything’s fine” murmurs the brunette. 

”Your voice sounds like something is bothering you. You know that you can always talk to me”responds

Juliana didn’t answer. She knew she could tell her mother many things but this one she couldn’t. How will Lupita react if she announces her that she has a crush on someone of the same sex. What if this is just her imagination. Why then she feels an uncontrollable sensation in her stomach at every thought of Valentina and her heart beats faster…   
She couldn’t find the answer, too many questions popped up at once and how to name this state? 

She felt helpless, exhausted and overhelmed. She laid down on the bed and didn’t even noticed the moment she fell asleep. 

The sun’s rays illuminated her pale cheeks and her eyes closed even more. She didn’t know if it was the setting sun or the rising in the morning. She got up slowly and looked at the phone screen. There was a notification from unknown number. She unlocked the phone and saw a message: Hola beautiful, I have your photos. How about meeting this afternoon in a nearby cafe? I will show you these masterpieces”. 

Juliana half-asleep turn on the phone again. She didn’t believe it was a message from photographer. The heart pounded again, hands began to tremble. She wondered what to write back. 

”I’m looking forward to see you today” Juliana replied. 

Thoughts grew again. Is she ready to meet Valentina and what if she can’t say any word? 

She left the room and met Lupita on the way. 

”What are you worried about?” Apperently sleep wasn’t enough for your worries” asked concerned. 

”Nothing, I just… I’ll have a meeting today and I’ll pick up the photos from the photoshoot” she responds with doubt in her voice. 

”Why are you not excited then?” she asked again. 

Juliana didn’t know what to say back. She wasn’t afraid of how the photos would look like. What frightened her the most was the vision of meeting the photographer. She’s glad that she will be able to see her, because in Valentina’s presence she forget who she is and feels safe and free as never before. 

The meeting time is approaching, the sun descended towards the horizon. The sprint season had its charm. The sight definitely calmed the brunette down. She sat down at the empty table. She thought her heart was about to stop. Immediately she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She didn’t have a time to turn around. She heard a familiar voice. She had no doubt to whom it belongs. 

”Hello Juliana, how are you?” asked Valentina. 

The brunette tried to answer but suddenly she is sucked in her throat. She couldn’t get a word out. After a long moment her heart rate slowed down and her body was not shaking as before. 

”I… I mean everything is fine” admitted terrified. 

”You don’t sound convinced” Val said. 

”It’s probably because of the uncertanity how the photos look like” she whispered, sincerely knowing that the photos are not the reason to her anxiety. 

”I assure you looked stunning. Likewise as now” confessed the photographer. 

Juliana didn’t say a word and Valentina pulled the stack of photos out onto the table. The brunette thought that she was still dreaming and the photoshoot never really took place. She couldn’t imagine she would enjoy being a model. She never be appreciated by anyone and felt unique until recently she met Val. On the one hand, she felt intimidated by her apperance, because Val is simply flawless. On the other hand, when she heard so many compliments about herself, she just felt important for someone. 

”Juls, look at me” she urged, gently grabbing the girl’s hand. 

Their fingers interwined. She felt the skin prickle, shiver ran down her spine. Juliana still avoided eye contact. She knew that if she looked into those irises, which had taken on an even darker and more intense shade of blue than she remembered, she would drown in their dephts. Her legs felt numb and the strange, overhelming feeling in her chest not fading away. The puls sped up enough that Valentina must have felt it holding her palm. The moment lasted forever as if the end would never come. 

”Juliana, you are the most magnificent and appealing woman I’ve ever seen. Your coffee eyes, finely outlined cheekbones, shine hair, perfectly sculpted silhoutte. Your slender collarbones exposed, I’m speechless. I… I could list endlessly. You did a great job. I can’t believe this was your first photoshoot. You look like goddess” frankly confessed Valentina. 

”I don’t know what to say. Honestly I’ve never been complimented in such a dazzling way by anyone. I’ve always heard how imperfect I am and I should look like the other girls. People rejected me at every turn. They said that because of my lack of self-confidence I won’t achieve anything and I shouldn’t even try cuz there were a lot of experienced models than me”- confided Juliana and tears ran down her slightly ruddy cheeks. 

”Juls, look at me, never let anyone break you, never. You cannot doubt in yourself. You are powerful, valued woman with fragile heart. I know what it’s like to be judged by everyone. I know it could have been hard for you more than once. Someone who has not noticed this beauty in you, is not worthy of you. I’ll prove you that you can do more than you think. And I knew of the beginning that you have a uniqueness that no one other has. I’ll provide you for so long but you need to show the world who Juliana is and what she is capable of” said Valentina smoothing her thumb over Juliana’s cheek and wiping tears. 

The brunette didn’t know if what she was hearing was not illusion. Probably in a moment someone will pinch her and wake up from a deep sleep. But it didn’t, everything she just heard was absolutely real. Each time photographer mentioned her name, it took on a different meaning. Valentina spoke it with ecstasy, delicacy and magic in her voice. 

”That is why I am convinced and it is a great pleasure that I would like to cooperate with you on the other photoshoots and not only…” announced Val. 

Juliana almost fainted from the sensation. Her stomach tightened enough she forgot how to breathe. She wanted to scream ‘yes’ but she ran out of breath. 

”I hope of your facial expression that you agree” replied the photographer. 

Juliana nodded in agreement. This day had brought her more surprise than she had expected.

”I promise Juls, you will flourish and your hidden confidence will reborn again. I’ll not let anyone hurt you. NOW AND FOREVER. - whispered and hugged the brunette as thight as she would never let go of her. 

Juliana has never met anyone in her life who saw more in her than her family and friends. Valentina is different. It was hard to describe every detail of her. She is not comparable to anyone. Her eyes stole Juliana’s heart, Valentina’s smile gave her life, the presence of blue-eyed made her high and Val’s touch left her breathless. Everything lost its meaning when she was with the photographer. She wanted to tell her that she is like a diamond in the sky, vision of pure hapiness, however, these words remained unspoken. 

Her life began to make sense. Thanks to Valentina, she will close a dark chapter and enter a new one that will change everything forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like the chapter and it will be worth continuing.


	3. A love based on friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I have ever written so far. There are more details about Juliana and Valentina's feelings, confessions and closeness that I love to describe. Hope you like this chapter. Enjoy reading!

Day after day have passed. The relation between Val and Juls was no longer like it had been at the beginning. Valentina was no longer just a photographer and Juliana was no longer just a model. They wrote with each other much more and undeniably became good friends. But good friends is not enough to show how strong connection they had. They are soulmates. They could talk to each other about oridinary things like their mornings, sunsets, what they ate for breakfasts and contrasting issues like their jobs and emotions they had to deal with it. Juliana is always heard by the blue-eyed. The brunette is the center of attention of Valentina. She had never trusted someone as fully as a girl who she has just met. But she felt as if she had known Val forever. There was only one word in her mind – name of charming blue-eyed. They are united by friendship, nothing more, right? Just two friends, very good friends… Only two girls who could confide in each other. Nevertheless close friends cannot hold their hands and cuddle longer than usual. And giving each other kisses on cheeks. Is it what friends usually do, certainly not. But Valentina did these things every time they met. Juliana did not mind their proximity, she actually felt this strange but pleasant feeling inside her. That’s why when Val hugged her, she didn’t want her to let go. She liked when full and lucious lips left an imprint on her cheek. When Val’s innocent touch rubbing against her soft skin, the blood speeding up in her veins. It gave her pleasure when Val approached her and delicate scent with  
a hint of sweetness and flowers soothed her senses. When they hold their hands and interwine their slender fingers. When she closes her eyes, she can still see Val’s irises and long, black lashes. Every thought of blue-eyed make her heart melting.  
Maybe fate knew that she needed someone in her life, that’s why Valentina appeared on her way…

While she was thinking intensely about Valentina, she woke up. In a competely different place than her cozy room. She looked around and suddenly the rush of thoughts hit her. She realized she was in the hospital. In the hospital where her mother went to yesterday. It all happened too fast. She was away from home when unknown number called her. She heard only ”Are you Lupita’s daughter? If so, come to hospital as soon as possible cuz your mother has a head injury and is unconsious”. After this call she was immediately in the emergency room. She finally found a proper room, where Lupita was. Tears naturally ran down her ruddy cheeks.

”Will her condition get better soon” she asked with lump in her throat. 

”Your mother needs a lot of rest. She is battered. Doctor put stiches on her cut forehead but her state is stable. Relax” acknowledged concerned nurse seeing how much suffering it caused in the brunette.  
”Everything will be fine, promise” admitted after a while.

The nurse’s words calmed her temporarily. She was sitting in a small chair next to her bed, holding her hand tightly and praying that she would regain consciousness. 

”Lupe, I’m so sorry. If I was with you, maybe I… If I could turn back time” says with rapid breath, feels her head spinning but she doesn’t faint. 

After a long moment in silence that became almost unbearable, Juls felt a tightly grip on her palm and saw mum slowly opening her eyelids. 

”Honey” whispered in hushed tones. 

Juliana jumped up instantly and hugged her firmly. 

”I’m so sorry I was gone yesterday” she stumbles over her words but she feels animated seeing her mother consious. 

”It could happened anywhere, don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault” assures her. 

”But I… I mean… I should…” the emotions grew even stronger and she can’t put into words what she is going through right now. 

”Don’t feel guilty. I should be discharged in a few days. It’s just a few scratches and stiches, nothing serious. But you, Juli, you should come back home and get enough sleep” announces noticing how the brunette struggles with her exhaustion. 

Suddenly Juliana felt the phone vibrating. She took it from pocket and saw ’Valentina’ on the display and her heart beats faster. 

”Hello Juls! How about visiting me at my home?  
I have a day off from work so I’d love to meet you. Let me know and I will send you my adress then. Your Val” she reads carefully emhasizing each word in her mind. 

”Who is it?” asks. 

”Valentina… I mean the photographer” responds still bearing in her mind that her mother does not know much about their friendship. 

”She had to write something enjoyable if you look like this” confesses slightly giggling. 

”Like what?” glances down bashfully. 

”Your cheeks flushed and your eyesight so mysterious but I can see a twinkle in your eyes” explained. 

” Mum, what are you talking about?” reacted infignantly, because her facial expression in certain was the same as always. 

”I haven’t seen you like this for a long time. I see a smile on your face for the first time in months. And it’s so real for which there is no regret and sadness. You look simply happy. That’s it” admitted sincerely. 

Juliana wondered what to say back. Whether it is so visible how every thought about Valentina influences her. She could even hold emotions as much as possible but when it comes to Val she could not do that.  
Is it normal that a mere message touch her so intensely?

”What she wrote to you?” asked a question not expecting what answer she would receive. 

”She… she invited me… to visit her” answered doubtfully. 

”That’s wonderful news!” replied Lupita.

”But I can’t leave you alone now” added sadly. 

”Juli, look at me. You’re been with me all night until now. You need rest and spend time with… What’s her name? asked.

”Val… Valentina” whispered slowly wanting to emphasize how every single letter in girl’s name is valid and unique. 

”If she makes you smile like that through the message, she must be such a kind person in real life as well” responded.

”She is” assured knowing that no words can express how much grace Val had.

”If something happends, I will inform you right away, meanwhile don’t look back at me and go ahead. Have fun!” wishes farewall. 

”Remember I always love you” says and kisses Lupita’s forehead.

”I know” respons in certain.

Juliana gave her mother last hug and headed towards to exit. She was still confused because she was not sure if she had made the right decision. But she wanted to visit Valentina so badly.  
Lupe was right, she needs rest. 

When she left the hospital, she grabbed the phone again and decided to call the girl. When dialing the number, she thought many times whether she could call but finally, on the next try, she did not reject the call after a few seconds. She thought it would take forever to wait until she heard a familiar voice.

”Hi Juls!” begins in a calm tone waiting for Jul’s voice. 

After a while, when she didn’t get an answer she asked again. 

”Hello Juls, Are you still there?” repeats the question. 

”Val, Thank you for pick up the phone” responds  
a little relieved but still with a quivering voice. 

”Juls, Something happened, you sound terrifed” asks concerned.

”It’s just… my mother… yesterday” she did not finish the sentence. 

”What about your mum Juls?” asks again more worried about the situation, 

”She was hospitalized cause she fainted and was spreading her forehead but her overall condition is stable for now” whispers almost crying. 

”Juls, Should I come? It’s not a problem for me if you’ll feel better then”

”No Val, I can handle it. I’ll try” replies unconvinced. 

”If you just let me, I’ll be with you in a half an hour. I’m worried about you, you know that, right?” asks fully absorbed by the brunette’s feelings. 

”I know Val but I don’t want to burden you with my problems” replies. 

”Juls, You will never burden me with your problems, never. Promise me you’ll never think like that. My feelings are as important as yours. Nothing will change that” confesses cause she cares so much about the girl’s hapiness. 

”So, What do you want me to do for you now?” asks. 

”I don’t want us to be here. I can come to you instead. It will be much easier for me if I’ll see you” whispers.

”Okay, I’ll send you my adress. If you have troubles getting there, call without worries” assures her. 

”Fine Val, so see you soon. Bye” says words for goodbye but she knows they will see each other again. 

”Take care. I’m looking forward to meet you” replies shortly due to the feeling of a beating heart which allows her to express nothing more.

Both of them finished the conversation. Juls heads towards the bus stop to get to Val. She did not wait long as the results the the appropriate bus arrived after ten minutes. She takes a seat, puts the earphones and lets the music soothes her interior. If she hadn’t heard the loud bus doors she would have forgotten to get out. She ran out at the last bus stop and doubted where she was. It was certainly not a part of the city she visited often. But she recognized the park and walked along it. She reached a fork in the road, after a while she saw that there were many apartaments in the distance. One of them must have belonged to the blue-eyed. She went in the right direction and came to the building itself. The adress Val sent her match the one on the wall of the flat. She gripped the door and went inside. She could choose elevator or stairs. Although Valentina lives on the fifth floor she prefers to go on her foot. She approches the Val’s door. Instantaneously Juls’s hands starts shaking and sweating. She can’t calm her breath to the normal rhytm. Heart in her chest lets her know that she is about to meet the girl. Not just anybody, not an oridinary woman. Not even once percent of her could be called a girl like the others. She is… in fact unbelievably flawless. That’s why she feels so intimidated cause Val certainly will look even more stunning than the prevoius meeting. She took  
a deep breath and knocked on the door. She heard footsteps approaching and after a while the lock was also being opened.  
She saw the silhoutte of Val. Valentina is dressed in a velor top and light-blue jeans. She has medium higheels. Nonetheless, face of Val caught her attention the most. She has gold earrings in the shape of the sign of infinity. She has wearing a subtle makeup. Her azure eyes are underlined with eyeshadows with a hint of silver glitter. Her cheeks are covered with a soft blusher. She has a matte red lipstick on her full lips. Her perfectly silky locks of hair fall over her exposed cleavage. Some of the wisps cover her pale forehead. 

”Wow, you look…” hesitates, glacing down. 

”Oridinary, I know” adds to the brunette’s unfinished answer. 

”Val no, you look surprisingly appealing. I mean georgeous” states causing Val to bit her lip. 

”Thanks but you look much more charming than me” confesses still unable to take her eyes off those intense, coffee irises. 

”Val, don’t say that. Look at me. I’ve just got back from hospital, I can’t look good enough” respons.

”You do. No matter of the situation you don’t lose that grace” assures the brunette. 

Val grabbed gently her cold hand and leading her inside the apartament. 

”We won’t be standing here like that” giggles. 

”Sorry for my appearance once again” whispers.

”You have nothing to apologize for, really Juls” replies and makes Juliana blushing. 

”Make yourself comfortable and I’ll bring us something to drink” Val encourages her. 

The brunette walks slowly towards the living room. The sight of the most breath-taking part of the city appears from the huge balkony doors. 

The apartament is modernly furnished, everything has its place. A huge painting on the wall caught her attention the most. She recognized the place with no problem. She always dreamed of going there. 

”Here you are! I can see that you are captivated by this landscape” replies with a hint of pride and satisfaction.

”You took the picture yourself?! And how did you get to see the Colorado Canyon?!” exclaims. 

”Yeah, I did it myself. I took this photo during one of my bussiness trip. This place was amazing.  
I could stand breathless and watching for hours every sunset and sunrise” explains emotionally. 

”My biggest dream is to see this wonder of nature. I was supposted to go there on my birthday but  
I did not…” hesitates over a further answer.

”I’ll take you there someday. I promise” whispers, taking Juls’s hand gently and leading her towards.

They sat down comfortably, though Juliana is still tense. 

”Juls, you are safe here” admitted glancing at bashful girl. 

Blue eyes capture brown ones. They both breathe shallowly. The air escaping from their lungs tickle their exposed necks. Val noticed Juliana awkwardly looking down, so she decided to break the silence. 

”So, tell me a story” clears her throat and still stares at the brunette’s shiny irises. 

”Story about what” asks unconvined as if she could say any more words.

”Maybe about your childhood or how you grew up if you don’t mind”

”Of course, no problem Val” added utterly aware that talking about the past is not the easiest thing to do. 

”So maybe I’ll start with this when I was living in Texas with my mother. I was a terribly shy girl and  
I was teased by all the children in the neighborhood. I had complexes about my appearance due to annoying and unpleasant comments about me. I changed schools many times but it didn’t help. And  
I don’t know why but I realized then that the problem was inside me, not the other people. So after these I could barely talking to anyone.  
I started visiting a psychologist cause it turned out I had depression. When I heard about it for a first time I was extremely terrifed. As thirteen years old teenager I have no idea what these disease was.  
I spent many months recovering at hospital, taking pills. After year and a half I was discharged to home. It overhelmed me even more, because during that period of time, none of people from school spoke to me. I was totally lonely. Alone as never before. That’s why I became so attached to my mum. I grew up in a better mental health. But when  
I turned seventeen it brought out the worst in us. We argued about every issue. She wanted to me to become a lawyer or a doctor. However, I saw my future in a utterly different place. I wanted to prove the world that the situation in the past will not break me again. I wanted to try myself as being a model. I knew I had to prepare for failures but I didn’t want to give up so quickly. I participated in many castings until the first, serious photoshoot in which you photographed me. It’s really hard for me to confide. All these past events have shaped me as I am now. And you are the first person I told about my teenage illness and problems with my mum. I trusted no one before as I trusted you.” confessed everything that had been in her head for a long time and felt a relief in heart.

”Juls, I don’t know what to say. I’m actually stuck in the ground. All these words were really sincere and it took such a courage from you. I…” tears collect in her eyes and she begins crying.

”Val, it wasn’t my intention to move you and make you shed tears” says with tenderness in her voice cuz crying Val causes her heart to break. 

”Juls, Why all these things happened to you? You don’t deserve it. In fact you are the most innocent human I’ve ever met in my entire life” she sobbing more and more. 

”Val, that’s all of the past, don’t cry, please” insists, she doesn’t want blue-eyed suffering from what she has already told her. 

”Can… Can I give you a hug?” asks politely.

”Sure”

Valentina approaches the brunette. Centimeteres separate them but after a while she gets closer enough that the space between decreased. She huggs her waist gently. With her palms she tenderly runs the girl’s back, ending at her bare neck. Her fingertips are making Juliana goose bumps. She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear. She rubbs her wrist lightly on her cheekbone, which makes Juliana flinch.

”I’m so sorry for making you uncomfortable. I didn’t want cross your intimate zone” says feeling guilty.

”No Val, I’m fine. You did nothing wrong, okay” assures her.

”Are you sure?”

”One hundred percent sure”

”I don’t want to cross the boundries and make you feel…”she did not finish the sentence.

”I know Val. You just hugged me as friends do”

”You’re right. I just hugged you. Nothing more” whispers.

They sat there with competely silence, then Valentina started to continue the conversation. 

”And maybe I’ll tell you something about me too if you want to hear about my complicated past” respons.

”Val, you know you don’t have to” assures her.

”But I want you to know that it wasn’t easy for me either” admitts.  
”I’ll start with something nice. From an early age everybody carred for me. My dad paid me the best extracurricular activities in town. But I loved the most photography. Taking photos of landscapes was not a problem for me so I quickly joined the advanced group. And the greatest support was always in my mum. She taught me what angle to hold the lens at, how to sharpen photos. She always wanted me to photograph her. She was incredibly…” her heart sped up and body began shaking lightly. 

”Val, What happened to her?” asked worried and touched by the girl’s words.

”She… she became seriously ill. Doctors for a long time didn’t know what was wrong with her. Until recently my das brought the best specialist from Mexico City and it turned out she had cancer. Everything happended so fast, she was hospitalized. One day we heard that they were helpless and unable to cure her. I remember clearly when I found out that she had several months to live. There were the most beautiful and saddest months of my life at the same time. I spent every day with her holding her hand while she was laying on the hospital bed. We talked about everything cuz I knew that if I didn’t tell her something, there would be no more possibilities later. She found out about all my secrets I kept from her. She always gave me advices and said that I couldn’t give up. The worst thing was waiting. It was not known how many days we could be togheter. Until then I remembered vividly, it was the day before Christmas. I wanted to show her a photo that I took from her as a Christmas Eve gift. When she saw it, she started crying emotionally. She kissed my forehead and whispered the words: ”Val, promise me that you will show the whole world your talent and never doubt yourself. I love you in all my heart. Remember- fight”. Then she closed her eyelids and did not open them anymore. I didn’t have time to promise her that I would fight for her. For a long time  
I could not to come to terms with why my mother. I knew I had to move on but it was really hard” frankly confessed the whole story. 

”Don’t cry, don’t cry” she says in her mind.

”Val, you broke my heart even more. What I experienced is not comparable to your suffering. Is there anything I can do for you now?” asks barely brining the words out of her mouth. 

”Juls, I’ve already come to terms with the situation. After all it happened many years ago. You don’t have to do anything for me. Your presence is everything to me” whispers under one’s breath.  
”You want me to go on or it’s a lot to you for the first time?” continues still waiting for the brunette’s answer.

”Something much more worse happended?” hesitates cause she senses looking at the Val’s eyes and sees how she breaks inside into the smallest pieces.

”Not much worse, but it was not a pleasant experience” adds.

”If it causes pain, I don’t want to Val” assures her.

”I can handle it” she finds the courage in herself and begins to tell more details.

”So it all started falling apart when I graduated high school. I went into college but not with my boyfriend. Yes, I had a boyfriend and it seemed to me that it was happy and healthy relationship. Lucho, that was his name, blamed me that I went into the university but he didn’t. I kept telling myself that it was not my fault and maybe I would be happier without him. I thought I would be so upset about the breaking up but I wasn’t even in the slightest. I was proud of myself that I could finally live alone and be not dependent on him. He never took my opinion into consideration and he didn’t care about my feelings. And since we were togheter he should have shown me some support. We split up and I wanted to forget about him forever. I managed to do it until he started to blackmail me with sending messages”

”He blackmailed you!” exclaimed the brunette. 

”I bloked his number. Nevertheless he came to see me one night when I was competely alone. I tried to block the door and defended myself but he was stronger than me. He pushed me against the wall and began to threaten me. I’ve never been so scared and panicked. I wanted to grab the phone and called the police but he was faster again. He threw the phone out the window and started saying horrible things about me. But the hurtful words weren’t the worst… After a while he pulled out photos of me… half-naked. I had no idea when he took them, but probably when I changed my clothes or when I was in the bathroom. I didn’t believe he would go that far. I thought all I heard was terrible nightmare. A miserable dream that I was about to wake up from. However, it didn’t and it got even worse. He left me like nothing had happened. I couldn’t fall asleep all night. Every part of my body hurt as a result of pressing me against the wall. But my soul ached the most. I put the blame on myself. In fact I didn’t do anything wrong.  
In the morning I started getting notifications from my friends with screenshots of me half-naked. It was the second worst day in my life after my mother’s death. How could I let all my close friends see me without clothes? The only thought I had in my mind that was to disappear from this world forever. I didn’t want people to see me at all costs. I would do anything to turn back time. All of sudden they turned their backs from me cause who want to deal with someone like me? I heard comments that I exposed myself to others, every boy could pick me up without any effort and even that I was a slut… Juls I can’t go on anymore, I can’t” confessed every detail she remembered.

”Val, nothing has ever hurt me like the words I’ve just heard. I… I… Why is the world so cruel? Why there were only people on our ways who wanted to hurt us. Why?” she did not acknowledge what had happened in the previous years of Val’s life. 

She isn’t thinking clearly, what matter the most is the safety of Valentina. Only she matters. She huggs blue-eyed as tightly as she can. She never needs closeness like right now. And surely Val needs it even more. 

Val’s sensitive skin reacted to Juls’s skin and they both felt chills. Nevertheless it didn’t make them separate even for a moment. Valentina rested her forehead on the exposed cleavage of the brown-eyed. 

”Can I stay like this for a while?” she whispers shyly.

”You don’t have to ask for permission. I’ll do whatever you want” assures her.

She feels Val’s muscles tense which are caused by too strong emotions. She moves her wrist up reaching her neck. She begins making circles with her fingers on the alabaster skin. She does not want to cause the pain so all movenents are careful and without rush. She presses gently the sore points. The uncontrallable moan escaped Val’s mouth.

”Did I hurt you?” asks fondly. 

”You never hurt me Juls. Please continue” assures the girl. 

Juliana continues the massage. Her tender touch makes Val’s muscles relax. 

”Val, Are you falling asleep?” asks in low voice.

”I’m not falling asleep. I’m just comfortable like this if you don’t mind”

”I’m fine but I’m still trying to process in my head all the words you’re told me” says.

”Please, forget about it” beggs Val.

”I’m proud of you, you know” starts.

”For me? How can you be proud of me? I was  
a coward and now I’m still bashful and unsteady. There is no reason to see something of value in me…” replies.

”How can you say these things about yourself? I’ve never met braver person than you. Everything you’re been through made you stronger. But I see more in you than others. I guess how hard it was for you to live without someone you could trust. You deserve someone who values you. The guy who wins your heart will be so lucky. There are still some good guys in these world” confesses the brunette.

”Guys” she reacts automatically when she hears this word.

”Yeah, you will surely find the one in the future, don’t worry” assures her.

”I can assure you that I don’t think about guys”

”I know your previous relationship was toxic and you are not ready now but you will be” responds.

”What if I don’t think about guys at all” fully confides.

”Val, What do you mean?”

”I’d rather be lonely for the rest of my life than have a boyfriend” says sincerely.

Suddenly there was an akward silence. 

”Why are you looking at me like that Val?” asks courious.

”Like what” teases with the brunette.

„You bites your bottom lip and stare at me piercingly.

”I don’t do that”

”You do”

”What? No! I am staring… I-I am looking at something behind you!”

”As you think” 

”It’s just your eyes are so captivating and I cannot take my attention away from them, you know what i mean?”

”Many people have told me that before but no one glanced at them so long, except you”

”Not only your eyes are so captivating… Your soft skin, little freckles, outlined cheekbones, your…-Val hesitates with further answer.

”My what” asks.

”Every inch of you is dazzling”whispers indistinclty.

”You don’t have to compliment me like that. I don’t deserve it”

”You deserve the best in this world. I can’t put into words what I feel… I mean how stunningly you look right now” Val stumbles over her words and all next spoken sentences uttered did not sound logical. 

”Val, you intimidate me. See, my cheeks blush and my heart beats so fast. I…” 

”It’s not my intention to intimidate you . I make things even worse. Sorry for making you uncomfortable. I don’t say anything more” regrets that her heart is always faster than her mind thereby embarassing the brunette. 

”You have nothing to apologize for” replies.

”My words are really sincere. Hope you know it”

”I know Val. I just can’t get compliments. No one has ever considered me valueable, so now when  
I heard so many touching words I don’t know how to react” explains in detail.

”I’ll teach you how to feel beautiful and be brave. Although as you’re seen, it’s easy to break me. That’s why I don’t know if I’m an authority enough for you” 

”Never doubt it. You are more than enough. Remember we’re in this togheter. We can count on each other. NOW AND FOREVER” states confidently.

”I don’t know what I’d do without you”

”Likewise”

”So what do we do next?” 

”I think I should go. It’s already evening. Can you believe that we were talking for six hours! It’s getting dark outside”

”Juls no, Can you stay a little longer?” beggs politely.

”Val, you know I would like to stay but I have to go back to the hospital”

”After all you mentioned that as long as the doctor calls you, you don’t have to worry”

The brunette stands up from the sofa. Val tried to grab her palm to keep her from going but involuntarily knocked over a glass of red wine that spilled straight onto Juliana. 

”I’m so sorry” apologizes then she reaches for a towel and starts wiping but unfortunately the wet  
T-shirt is soaked in for good.

”You didn’t do it on purpose” assures her.

Juliana feels the top sticks to her body and it would be no longer usable. Meanwhile Val touches the area under the ribs, a shiver runs down her spine. Blue-eyed feels Juls’s skin cleching slowly and covers with goose bumps despite the material separating them. Juliana is dumbfounded but she does not mind close contact with the girl’s wrist. Val’s touch is gentle but intimate, affectionable and full of desire. Her glossy eyes shut but lashes still flutter. She is unable to utter a word. Only air is escaping from her lungs. She forrows her eyebrows. Feeling inside her makes it impossible to think straight. She is desparated to keep this feeling. The butterflies in her stomach are making her dizzy. Her heart rate is so fast, she couldn’t make the slightest move. Her legs went to weak, palms began to sweating. Val’s touch took over control of her body. She is confused cause she doesn’t know what is actually going on with her. But how intensely Val affects her is all she needs. Moment lasted forever until she heard Val’s soft grunt. 

”It will be not possible to restore your T-shirt to its prevoius state. As an apology I will give you a gift. Since I bought it and the size wasn’t accurate for me, I knew it would fit perfectly on you” 

Valentina went to the dresser in the corner of the living room, opened second drawer and took out  
a gleaming sleevless top. 

”Please, try it on” urged her.

”But Val… I’m not sure if I feel confident enough to put it on”

”You have perfectly sculpted figure, believe me”

Juliana is encouraged by these words. She grabs the shimmering top and heades towards the bathroom. She gently pulls off her wet T-shirt. She puts on her the top and admires how beautifully it shimmers. 

”Valentina, Can you come here?”exclaims.

”Don’t you like it?” asks doubtfully. 

”It’s georgeous nevertheless you have to zip it on the back” confesses.

”It was obvious, why it hadn’t crossed my mind” wonders in her mind.  
”Of course” she moves closer to the brunette, fulfilling her request.

Valentina is mesmerized by the sight of her bare back. 

”You look like a real angel, like from another planet. I have no words” frankly addmits.

And from the front she looks even more enthralling. She sees her slender collarbones again which she clearly remembered during first photoshoot. None of women she met, made such an impression on her. 

”Oh, come on, you look more charmer” says the brown-eyed.

They are giggling quietly and giving each other lots of compliments.  
Until Juliana jumped back violently.

”What was that?” says with weakened voice and her body freezing in place. 

”It’s just the thunder outside” says seeing the brunette visibly sweating, her ears turning red and she slides down on the chair, shaking uncontrollably. 

”Just a storm. It’s not just a thunder. I am about to pass out. I cannot take my breath. Val, help me” responds, begging.

”Juls, look at me. Are you afraid of…” she did not finish, seeing the brunette’s eyesight going out of whack.

”Storms… storms” she couldn’t even form a sentence.

”You probably have panic attack, please look at me” beggs her.

Valentina puts her palm to Juliana’s ribcage, approaching the heart. She feels rapid, pounding heart rate. Intense chills go through her. 

”Val, I feel dizzy and my legs go numb” whispers cause the feeling in her chest is too overhelming and almost unbearable.

”I’m here Juls. I’m never leave you. Squeeze my hands as tight as you can and try to take a breath and exhale after a while”

Her blurry eyesight sharpened and all she saw were azure irises and that was the only thing she needed at that moment.

”You’re doing great. You are incredibly brave. Now inhale again and exhale at the same rhytm as me” adds still staring into the brunette’s eyes. It was through her coffee irises she had access to her interior. She saw anxiety, paralyzing fear, confusion in reality. Nontheless, she knows that Juliana will overcome this cause she is a fighter. 

”I’m so proud of you. I will never doubt in you, never” assures her. 

Juliana is starting to calm down. She is still breathing shallowly but the crushing feeling in her chest is receding. The numbness eased. She could slowly let go of Val’s hands because she feels stable now.

”I’m so sorry Val with all my heart. I should have told you that I’ve been terrifed of storms since childhood. Despite that I have never had such a strong panic attack before. I have no idea what I’d do without you” starts sobbing and tears collect in eyes and make it difficult to see.

”It’s not your fault. You’re safe now. Don’t cry, please!” beggs her.

Valentina pushes strands of her velvety hair behind ear and whispers quietly: It’s normal to be afraid. Everyone has their own fears so you can’t blame yourself”

”Val, but how will I…” she did not finish.

”You what Juls” asks concerned.

”How will I come back home in this weather?”

”Juls, I’m not gonna let you leave. Certainly not after what you’re been through”

”I don’t want to impose”

”Don’t even think like that. Really Juls, I’d like you to stay for night” urges.

”Okay” whispers still unsure.

”You will try what a comfortable bed I have and why it’s always so hard for me to get up to work in the morning”

”Val, I can sleep on the sofa” states.

”You are my guest and you deserve the best” confesses.

”Where will you sleep then?”

”It’s a double bed and we will certainly fit in both. Therefore if you don’t mind, we can sleep toghether”

”It’s fine. I can sleep with you” replies still worried about disturbing blue-eyed privacy.

”Really Juls, I want you to stay” responds confidently biting her lip and looking at the brunette in awe.

Valentina had spent nights with her friends before but none of them were brown-eyed. It will surely be a competely mismatched night than all the previous ones. But she shouldn’t have the slightest cause for her insecurity. Juliana is incomparable to anyone and she feels different in her presence, right?


	4. In you, I found myself and lost myself. All at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next fourth chapter. The tension between Val and Juls is building up.  
> Enjoy reading!

Juliana is incomparable to anyone and she feels different in her present, right?

Valentina knows without a doubt that she feels different and with each hour she spent with Juls, she became more convinced of it. And tonight she would spend the whole night with her. But how will she handle all the feelings she has within her? What if she starts saying ridiculous things again thereby intimidating the brunette… She should be more careful, she does not want to ruin their friendship. She met extraordinary girl and she would not let to lose her at all cost. 

Deep down she felt relief, boundless happiness because Juls was with her, she wasn’t as lonely as before. Nevertheless when she was staring at the brunette, she saw her terrified facial expression and inner anxiety. 

Juliana still exceptionally confused sat down on the sofa. The storm outside grew even worse with every passing minute but she told herself incessantly that she was safe with Valentina. 

”Please relax Juls, I’m with you, we’re in this together” assures confidently.

”Val, I’m so enormously afraid and this is just the beginning of the storm, I can’t even narrow my eyes. I don’t have the strenght to fight my exhaustion but when I close my eyelids for a moment I feel shivers run down through my spine. How can I fall asleep?” despaired as the anxiety grew more and more.

”I promise you I won’t leave you and I’ll be with you as long as you fall asleep. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, ever, okay?” uttered these words, she was so worried about Juliana. 

”Maybe you were right. I will feel safe if I sleep with you. I don’t want to be alone unless you changed your mind” whispers in hushed tones. 

”I… change my mind?! You don’t have to worry about that. If I can do anything for you, please tell me then” insistes politely wanting only the best for the brunette.

”Could you give me clothes for change and if it’s not a problem, can I take a shower? I need a refresh” she made it not sound like an imposition but just a minor request.

”You don’t need my permission. I’ll surprise, I don’t have a shower but a bathtub. Go ahead and take a long bath and I’ll prepare something to eat for you” encourages her trustingly.  
”And I’d forgot, you can choose whatever clothes you want from my wardrobe. Make yourself at home” adds after a while. 

Juliana feels a little more self-assured so she walks over the huge wardrobe. When she saw all those gleaming dresses, leather jackets, collection of high heels, she was speechless. Her own wardrobe is only half of what Val had. She opened one of the drawers and saw lovely, velor nightgrowns. Howerever her choice is a lavender, lace pyjama set, she grabbed it and headed towards the bathroom. When she closed the door, her attention caught a huge mirror with copper frame. Even her tired reflection in that mirror looks enthralling. Then she noticed nearby a beautifully glazed shelf with all blue-eyed cosmetics including Val’s lip glosses, highlighters and eyeshadow palettes. The whole bathroom is elegantly furnished, all the accessories match the decor of the rest the apartament. But the most significant thing, a huge bathtub. She has always dreamed of taking baths for a long hours nonetheless she only has a shower. She seizes the opportunity to fully relax. Water slowly fills the bathtub, she adds rose bath oil and delicate flower scent begin to waft through the air. She took off gently her clothes after entire day and plunged under the foam. Her muscles are not as tightened as before due to the warm water. Her silky locks also rubbing against rising bubbles of foam. She feels like her sense does not perceive sounds around. Despite the raging storm her tired eyelids begin to drop and the space around her slowly blurres. She does not feel the moment when she fell asleep. 

Until then she hears a knock on the door that makes her wake up.

”Juls, everything alright, you spent almost two hours there” informs worriedly. 

”Fine Val, I just probably fell asleep while I was taking a bath. Don’t worry” confesses sincerely. 

”Later you’ll find out how comfortable my bed is. I’m waiting for you in the bedroom then” replies impatiently.

Juliana just realized that she really had to fall asleep. She jumped out of the tub, wrapping herself in a towel. She feels every inch of her body softer under the influence of the water. She rubs the lotion tenderly into her body. Thanks to this her skin becomes more velvety. She combes her slightly disheveled strands and put on new clothes. She wished she had chosen a set in which her abdomen and cleavage were covered nonetheless there is nothing to be ashemed of especially when she is in the presence of Valentina. Blue-eyed always admires her but she can not see something captivating about herself. Val certainly isn’t lying about her appearance but she doesn’t deserve any of the compliments especially hearing them from another woman. Does everything she’s feeling right now is normal? Should she feel butterflies in her stomach in the presence of people of the same sex? Not women in general, the one and the only is Valentina who made her feel special. She couldn’t reject or deny all emotions because she had never experienced something strong, unbreakable enduring before that instead of fading away only intensifies. And over and over at the thought of Valentina, her cheeks flush red. Why she can’t control it, God! How is she suppose to leave the bathroom now? However, she had the courage cuz Val must have been worried about her long absence. She opened the door and headed towards the bedroom. Her heartbeat was normal but it would definitely speed up when she would see blue-eyed. She followed a long corridor, she turned right and saw a door to the room she had not been yet. It had to be girl’s bedroom. As she approached the slightly ajar door, she pushed it and saw a huge bed with lots of cushions. In the middle she noticed a small table on which has placed a pasta casserole, next to it was glass of orange juice. When she came closer she observed a red rose and a piece of paper with the words ”Enjoy your meal”. Has Val prepared her dinner? Why is she so kind to her? How will she repay Val for everything she has done for her? 

Sooner or later she would find a way but all she needs now is to eat properly. She sat down on the edge of the bed and the smell of this delicious food encourages her to consume it even more. Though first she graspes the flower in her hands. Roses are her favourite species, especially when they have a shade of burgundy red. Tiny spikes rubs against her palms, it does not bother her because the unique scent of the rose matters the most. As the tip of her nose nudges the petals of the flower, she hears a familiar voice. 

”I can see you found a bedroom. Hope you like pasta dishes. But right now you like the rose more” giggles looking uncertainly at her glistering irises. 

”Val, you know you didn’t have to do all of this for me. And how did you guess that roses are my favourite flowers? replies curiously.

”Well my intuition told me that you would like it for sure. Can I tell you the story of why roses are my beloved species too? asked and there was a brief silence. 

”Okay”

”So, roses have always been an obvious symbol of love and we are always expected getting them from people we care a lot. But I realized that I didn’t need to wait for a moment to receive them. I decided to buy them for myself as a gift when I’ve been proud or even I had a terrible day. Why not appreciate myself in some way? That’s roses have become a symbol of gratitude to myself for who I am. The second meaning of roses is blooming. They bloom every single day and we cannot forget about it. Spikes may be our imperfections but it is the petals that add flawlessness. Therefore, let’s not let the thorns hurt us but only the petals show our uniqueness. You are probably wondering why I gave you this rose. I wanted to remind you that each of us is valuable and even if our imperfections became obstacles we must remember about our unique interior. Juls, you’re always been special, you are now and always will be” confesses every detail focusing her words on the last part when she talked about the brunette. 

”Val, I don’t know what to say. You made me dumbfounded. Once again your words surprise me, of course in positive way. And as always you remind me of the beauty I have. I’ve never seen myself this way and unquestionably you made me feel like I’m spreading my wings. People around me were belittling my worth but only you saw who I really am. You’re done so much for me so far. What can I do for you? asks cause she feel indebted to the blue-eyed who does everything for her when she doesn’t even ask for it. 

”You know Juls you don’t have to do anything for me. I don’t usually need something in repay but there’s a little request you can do for me…” begins with a slightly trembling voice and does not finish the sentence. 

”What thing, Val?”

”I would like a smile appear on your face. But not that as before, then you hesitated to smile. I wish I could see you truly happy. Can you do it for me, por favour?” insistes but at the same time not to intimidate the girl. 

”You’re seen me smile many times before…”

”This one time” pleaded with her.

”Okay, but I apologize in advance for the fact that you will probably not be satisfied”

”Don’t have any doubts about that” 

Juliana thought Val would want more of her but she asked for just a simple favour. It’s true, she doesn’t smile very often. Such a natural thing to do nevertheless it seems problematic for her. And when those ocean irises are still staring her in awe. She knows undeniable that this is the right moment. She forrows her eyebrows and forehead slightly, her heart pounded. Subsequently the corners of her pale, dry lips rise up. Inch by inch until the characteristic dimples in her cheeks showed. Suddenly she discreetly shows her straight, dazzling white teeth. Until a full beaming smile appears. 

”Juls, why have you never smiled that genuine before?” asks softly still mesmerized by the sight of her face. 

” I've never felt the need to smile. I felt insecure and preferred to hide my cheerful expression, which is why I forgot how to be able to smile sincerely. And it was only in your presence that I felt that I could. I can be myself” announces although she does not fully believe in the power of her words. 

”It’s an honor for me to hear such words. Since you’re mastered smilling…” teases with her.

”Now, what Val?” 

”Can I take a picture of you” whispers then her heart leaped within her.

”Isn’t too many favours for one day?” chuckles under one breath. 

”I swear, it’s the last one, at least for today” giggles sweetly.

”If it’s supposed to be the last, I’ll must agree. When I look at you, it’s hard to refuse. But don’t think you have a lot of time. I can change my mind at any time” adds again but deep inside she knows she would never be able to say no. 

”Okay, just let me go for my camera. Give me a moment” 

Valentina walked away, it didn’t last long as she came back after few minutes. 

”Find yourself a comfortable position and I’ll do my best” says convincingly. 

”Should I be as stressed as in the first photoshoot?” replies deceptively but half laughing. 

”Juls no, absolutely not. We were strangers then but now it’s different…” Val stumbles over her word and feels an abnormal trobbing inside her chest. 

”Now what”

”We know each other better than ever. And now we’re close friends, right? tries to convince the brunette but she cannot convince herself. Word  
”friends” hardly comes out of her mouth. 

”You’re right. I have no reason to stress” 

”So, are you ready?” asks when she feels she can take a breath again. 

Juliana only nodded. She bent her knees slightly and rested her back against quited headrest of the bed. She put her hands on her thighs and smiled the same as before. Val had assured her she could calm down despite that she felt a little bashful anyway. But posing is part of her job. She was sitting motionless and Valentina still not taken the picture. 

”Val, what’s wrong?” 

”You have something in your hair… um- do you want me to get it out?”

Juliana mumbled in agreement. Val moved closer and with her slender fingers she enterwined her hair. She pulled a crumb from her strands but she couldn’t stop touching her satiny locks. 

”Let me brush it back in here and let those whisps of hair fall like this. Perfectly” states and goes back to its place.

Now she can undoubtfully take a picture. Picture of the brunette she can admire endlessly. She took a deep breath, adjusted the lens to the correct angle and pressed the button. Light of the flash illuminated Juliana. She didn’t have to do many rehearsals cause the first photo was perfect in itself. 

”There’s no need to take another picures cause you’re posing sensationally” she barely brins out the words, she is simply breathtakingly sticking in the ground. 

”Did you capture me in the first time?” asks, disbelieving Val’s words.

”Don’t be surprise. You’re the most stunning model I’ve ever met” utters sincerely, now her heart surely explode. None of words will convey girl’s grace. 

”Val, what did I say about those compliments”

”I know, I know but it’s so hard not to compliment you if you look so appealing”

”I have no idea how I repay you one day. But now, you have my picture, it’s time to eat what you’re prepared for me. It cannot cool down”

”I would forget about it. Taste one of my favourite dish and let me know later cause I should also take a bath. I hope you don’t mind if I leave you for a while” 

”Don’t worry. You’ve done enough for me anyway. May I not have to wait long though, cause you promised that we would sleep together” pleads politely. 

”Of course, I’ll keep my promise. Just give me half an hour and I’ll be back”assures.

”Alright, I’ll try your delicious dish then”

Valentina walked away. Juliana saw her distant shadow, then girl competely disappeared. The rumbling stomach intensified that it’s definitely time to consume the food. She picked up the gild fork in her hand scooped up a little. All the flavours combined into a tasty whole, she was unable to describe. Val put her all heart into preaparing dinner for her. As it turned out, blue-eyed has not only talent for photography but also for cooking. She was so hungry that after a while there was nothing left of a large portion. She drank all juice and fell onto the bed. She felt each of her tense muscles. Her eyelids were so heavy, they drooped slowly. She was no longer terrified because the storm outside had calmed down. She rested her head on the pillow and felt she had no control to hold back her exhaustion. The yawning was so intense, she rolled over. She wanted to wait so much for Val but she didn’t notice the moment she fell asleep. 

”Juls, I’m back, I hope you…” she did not finish the sentence. 

However, she saw the brunette curled up between a duvet and a few pillows. She did not expect that the girl would fall asleep so fast. When she noticed the empty casserole vessel, her heart melt. Val approached the girl. Juliana’s expression is so cute while she is sleeping. Even though she couldn’t see her chocolate irises, she felt their eyes captured. Even in such oridinary thing like laying, she could look charming. Val covered her gently with a blanket and lay down next to her. She wanted badly to hug her or say how much she cares about her but she couldn’t. She doesn’t want to wake her up. When she shifted enough to decreased the space between them she whispers ”good night”. She felt the warm air which was escaping from Juls’s lungs against her bare neck. Juliana was breathing calmly. When she sees her in a safe state, she feels safe. In girl’s presence she never thought about her problems. She doesn’t feel the slightest need to do that. Even her worst memories stops crossing her mind when she could glance at the brunette. So she just stared at her without words, starting to slowly frost her eyes and eyesight began to blur. Either of them fell asleep. 

Both are motionless until Juliana begins to roll over from side to side. She starts uttering strange words then a sudden impulse of nerves picked her up. 

”Val, where are you? Help me, I need you” pleads with a tearful voice.

Hearing Juliana’s words, Valentina woke up abruptly and grasped her palm tightly.

”Juls, it was scary nightmare but you’re safe now. Just a bad dream, okay?. None of it was real” replies seeing panicking girl. 

”Val, what happened, where am I?” asks again being competely frightened. 

”You stayed with me for the night, remember? You had a terrible nightmare but I’m with you. You have nothing to be afraid of” assures confidently. 

She forget about breathing, she only cuddles up to the girl. She needs Val’s proximity and her sensitive touch on her skin. 

”It’s okay, your heartbeat should return to its normal rhytm soon”

”What time is it? I woke us up surely in the middle of the night. How can I fall asleep now? replies timidly. 

”It’s three in the morning but you don’t have to worry. I’ll make you fall back asleep. Lie down comfortably and try to visualize each part of your body slowly realxing” 

Juliana complied with Val’s request. She rested her head on the girl’s chest. Valentina puts one arm around her waist and with her other hand she strokes her strands of hair. 

Juls feels like in the arms of an angel. Val’s touch is so innocent as her fingertips rubbing against her exposed surface, she can feel a warm tingling rush through her. But it is so intoxicating and addictive feeling that she doesn’t want Val to stop. 

”Let me stay like this” mumbles wanting to add  
”forever” at the end but the word cannot come out from her mouth.

”Anything for you, mi bebecita” 

The two won’t tell wach other yet but they felt heavenly in their embraces. They have become one and one without the other is incomplete. They know each other better than they thought. They need each other more than they expected. Naming feelings is not the easiest thing to do. But do they have to define what they feel? If what they have at this moment is simply beautiful, that should matter the most, right? 

Time passed but as if in slow motion. Juliana is definitely asleep but Val isn’t going to change position. She tilted her head slightly bending to the brunette’s ear and the lyrics of the song which stuck in her head began to hum uncontrollably. 

”Everybody needs inspiration  
Everybody needs a song  
A beautiful melody  
When the night’s so long  
Cause there is no quarantee  
That this life is easy

When my world is falling apart  
When there’s no light to break up the dark  
That’s when I, I, I look at you  
When the waves are flooding the shore  
And I can’t find my way home anymore  
That’s when I, I, I, look at you

When I look at you  
I see forgiveness  
I see the truth  
You love me for who I am  
Like the stars holding the moon  
Right there where they belong  
And I’m know I’m not alone”

Valentina couldn’t stop singing but tears run down her cheeks. It was all true what she was singing. When her world falling into pieces, when she couldn’t find the direction where she was going… When she looks at Juliana she is alive. Juliana didn’t just look at her, she saw her like no one else. Valentina wished Juls would hear her words at that moment. To hear how she cares about her. The brunette is her anchor, her truth in this lost world. Her EVERYTHING.  
She placed a trembling hand towards girl’s heart. She smooths her thumb over her cheek and gives a kiss. Almost invisible so that only the edges of her dry lips left a slight trace. They lie cuddled up in each other. Val fell asleep soon.

In the morning 

Rays of the sun illuminate the expose neck first, reaching every scrap of her face. She squints her eyes, hoping that she will be able to continue sleeping but in the room is enough bright that she decides to get out of bed. Nevetheless it did not distrub Juliana as she slept in the same position all night. Valentina gets up, moves as silently as possible so as not to wake up the girl. She puts on her slippers and trowns on a long cardigan. She is heading towards the balcony cuz the rising sun from that place looks the most breathtaking. She leaves the room and let some air in when she opened the door. On the way she grabbed her camera to capture the sight outside. 

The air after storm is very refreshing. The sky formed a landscape as if out of an artist’s painting. A pastel shade of blue mixed with delicate pink. When she raises her head up, she sees small white clouds and in the distance an arc of a rainbow. Everything is perfect. She was about to take a picture until suddenly she hears footsteeps approaching. She does not have a time to turn around. She feels Juls’s hand on her shoulder. 

”I’ve already wondering, where you are” whispers.

”I didn’t want to wake you up” confesses looking down.

”I should have got up. And you were right, your bed is heavenly comfortable. I could lounging all day” 

”I hope you feel less tired that in the evening”

”I feel actually like reborn. Thank you for asking. And did you slept as well?”

”In your presence, sleeping is pure pleasure”

Juliana blushes. She also felt safe in Valentina’s embrace but she could’t bring words out. She only adds ”Sorry again for waking you up due to my nightmare”.

”You have nothing to apologize for. It happens to everyone”

”I can see I interrupted you from taking photos” states not quite sure.

”You haven’t stopped me. It’s just this view in incomplete when you’re not there”

”Val… I’m not..” stops her sentence when blue-eyed unexpectedly took picture of her.  
”Val, I’m not dressed properly. I don’t look right for shoothing. You have to show me this picture now” insistes a bit nervous.

Valentina didn’t answer only tucked the lens behind her back. Juls reached out her arm but instead of gripping the lens, she touched her waist. Valentina put the camera back on the shelf without thinking and touched the brunette’s wrist with her fingers. 

”Val, I didn’t mean to…” 

The girl didn’t say a word. She is only closing the distance between them. Inch by inch they are closer to each other. Val shifted just enough that her hips firmly touch Juls’s hips. After the while the pressure increased. Val feels her lower abdomen clench unrestrainable. The feeling inside her is inimaginably strong, too overhelming, made it impossible to think much less to say the slightest word. 

Juliana doesn’t know what is actually going on with her. She feels frozen as if Val mesmerized her. Their foreheads slowly meets. Cool breeze mixes with beating the warmth of their burning skin. Both pair of eyes are half-closed but Valentina is the first who opened them. So close to each other and yet so far. Valentina wants to raise her hand and tickle brown-eyed neck but after the air escaping from her lungs. Juliana begins whispering. 

”What were the lyrics of the song you were humming to me yesterday? That terrifing dream made me feel unnerved and I couldn’t remember any word” explains.

”You heard me singing?!” stands loud cuz she was certainly sure that Juls must have fallen asleep at that moment. 

”I remembered your angelic voice starting to poetically link words together. Could you sing for me one more time?” asks respectfully.

”I’m not sure if you want to her me again” replies looking at the different point in the distance to avoid the girl’s gaze.

”Val, you surprise my at every turn. First your talent for photography, then cooking. I forgot to thank you for yesterday’s dinner but know it was the best dish I’ve ever eaten. And you showed that you’ve been blessed with a celestial voice. I’d love the lyrics for sure” assures her seeing blue-eyed looks away in utterly different direction as if she feels somehow embarred by her words. 

”Let it be” whispers slightly panicked that she should really doing this.

She wiped her sweaty palms on the cardigan. She still avoids eye contact but maybe if she looks directly at those irises it will be easier for her to sing. She was always wondering if there was a song to change, but she didn't know a better one that would express all her thoughts.

”When my world is falling apart  
When there’s no light to break up the dark  
That’s when I, I, I look at you  
When the waves are flooding the shore  
And I can’t find my way home anymore  
That’s when I, I, I look at you

You appeared just like a dream to me  
Just like Kaleidoscope colours  
That cover me  
All I need  
Every breath that I breathe  
Don’t you know  
You’re beautiful

You appeared just like a dream to me”

She sang the best she could. She wanted to emhasize each of the words precisly. She feels her voice stutter, she couldn’t breathe out as if the air had been trapped inside her lungs forever. 

”Val, are you…” stops cuz the girl squeezes her hands tightly. 

Valentina came closer again. She didn’t think she should have to. She was not guided by her mind. Her thoughts swirled incessantly. The impulse pushed her to that point that all she was going to do was to kiss the brunette. She knew she shouldn’t go that far. It might destroy their friendship but right now she is moving in the direction her heart telling her. She couldn’t imagine what she would do if she regretted crossing the boundries. But it was too late to back out. She is so close that she can feel every muscles of Juliana pressing against her body. She feels she is falling and reaching the top at the same time. She had never experienced such intense trobbing in her chest but more unbearable is cleching her lower abdomen. The tips of their eyelashes flutter and their noses intuitively rub against each other. Valentina changes the angle of her head so that no space separete them. She slowly lets go of Juliana’s hands which she was holding for a long while and begins to direct them to the neck. She feels Juls’s skin prickle. She is touching her her chin, cheeks, brushing her mouth with her thumb unrestrainted but the girl doesn’t even flinch. She cups Juls’s face within her hands with passion simultaneously with sensitivity. She had imagined herself before standing in front of Juliana and kissing her in a gesture of full, fiery feeling. There was surely something wrong with her if such thoughts were crossing her mind. Kiss another girl, it seemed so ridiculous. Nontheless this vision seemed more natural to her than kissing another guy. After break up with Lucho she would never expected herself to want to kiss someone else. Juliana isn’t just anybody. But she is a woman. WOMAN. She has procceding it thousand times since the meeting for the first time. Why she feels something for her that she should never feel? And it is all happening for real. The more she denies and tries to forget about their incomprehensible connection, everything back twice as hard. She waited for someone who wake her up from sleep and rock to the ground but she knows she isn’t dreaming. She feels their lips touching. Right now. At first imperceptibly but after a while more and more. Juliana lips are moistened dry. Valentina is about to part lower lip. Until suddenly the brown-eyed jumped back. Their bodies came apart. Valentina stands competely dumbfolded. 

”Juls, let me explain everything. It wasn’t suppose to be like this. I’m so sorry I let this happen. I didn’t mean to…” frezzes getting lost in words unable to say what she really wanted. 

”I should go” replies briefly Juliana, betraying her nervousness. 

”Please stay, Juls” beggs regretting every move.

”I really have to go” adds ultimately because she didn’t know what else to do with this whole situation. 

Valentina says nothing more, next question dies in her mouth. All she’s seeing is Juliana walking through the balcony door to the room. As soon as possible, she searches for a long sweatshirt to put on her pajamas without drawing attention to herself on the street. She wasn't going to fully dress up or talk to the girl about what had almost happened. It was all too much for her at once. She hadn't noticed she had taken Valentina's wide blouse, but it didn't matter to her at that moment. She puts on her shoes, picks up her little purse with her phone in it, and goes down the stairs. She has so many conflicting emotions and the confusion made her dizzy. 

And Valentina still stands up motioneless. She feels exceedingly helpless. She cannot understand herself. Her heart is going nuts.

”What have I done” told herself in her mind and her ocean eyes began to shed tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the song that I used in this chapter is "When I look at you". This is one of my favorite song lyrics and it got stuck in my head for a long time. That's why I found that it also perfectly describes Juliantina's story.


End file.
